To be happy, it first takes being comfortable being in your own shoes. The rest can work up from there.
-Sophia Bush
As girls, we are constantly being told ‘to just be yourself’ and I agree that the best way to live is to be 100% you, the person you want to be. But so many girls in this society are making this extremely hard. We all hate when people judge us, when people assign labels to us and when people make us feel bad about being ourselves, and if you tell me you’re a girl and never felt like that than a.) you’re extremely lucky and b.) you’re lying. But the truth is, it isn’t just ‘society’ or the media who makes us feel this way, it is other girls who feel the same, but instead of living life as they want to, they make others feel bad about doing what they want.
Luckily I have never experienced bullying and I am so thankful for that, but so many people have. I’ll tell you a story, the thing which prompted me to write this post right now.
I have a beautiful 10 year old cousin, and on Wednesday she cut her long blonde hair into a short bob. I was there when she cut it and she was completely in love with it, telling me how practical it was and how much she loved it, and honestly that beaming smile on her face meant everything. She went to school the next day and everyone told her they loved it, that it made her look older etc. Then she was in the toilet and she overheard her so called ‘friends’ discussing her haircut. And the ‘truth’ is out. They think it makes her look like a boy, way too short, she looks like a geek with that hair and her glasses on. The reason they are saying these ugly, negative things? Probably because one or two of them are feeling insecure, jealous maybe, and they cannot accept people looking any different to the stereotypical girl with long blonde hair. The others? They probably love it, but they go along with the negativity because they don’t want to be the next one to be picked on. That feeling of not wanting to be in the position my cousin was in should’ve made them stand up to the bullies, but it never does.
Yes, there will always be people who spread negativity, but the point is, why do so many girls do it? We are the woman of this world and we are powerful, so why don’t we use that power to allow everybody feel good about who they are, instead of judging and spreading negativity.
The worst part of the story is not that there are bitches and bullies, but it is how easily they can change how we feel about ourselves. My cousin now hates her haircut, and believes those things said about her. Her hair hasn’t changed since the time it made her smile and feel beautiful, but because it is extremely difficult to love yourself and be who you want to, especially at a young age.
I wish we as women would use the fact that we all feel insecure at times to empower women to love themselves and not change because of everyone else, but instead so many girls and women use their insecurities with themselves to bring others down for being different.
Rant over, for now.
-E.
Lost in Thoughts 